OUCH

My cat stabbed me in the foot with a kitchen knife. Now, those of you who haven't heard the story are probably wondering about the whole issue with paws and how a cat can't exactly hold a knife because of them.

Well, I'm not even sure if it's called the knife rack, it's that wooden black with slits in it for knives. Lady Victoria, a very ladylike cat had caused this knife rack to fall, one knife bounced and buried itslef in my foot.

It was very strange, I felt the pointiness against my skin for a split second and then the pointiness just went beyond being pointy and went too deep, it wasn't really what you might call painful, it was just dreadfully alarming, having the knife itself inside my foot - now that was painful. And pulling it out.... Owwwww. But most painful was having it out because there was ripping of muscle tissue, I felt, and still feel, like I have a constant muscle cramp in my foot, in addition to the red-hot pain that's running up my leg.

So, what did I do the moment I had a knife in my foot? I was really shocked to see it in there, it all happened very quickly, one moment I had a completely healthy foot and the next it had a knife inside it.

So what I did was panic and call for Danny, while I pulled out the knife. Then I started bleeding. Danny rushed over and nearly fainted at the sight of the blood, Rebecca was the one who found some kitchen rag to hold it down. I bit my lip so hard I made it bleed and now it hurts to smile.

When we stopped the blood flow we drove to the hospital, Danny was acting like I was in labour or something, Rebecca was amazingly calm. They stitched me up, gave me a crutch and pain-medication and sent me home.

I felt so tired this morning and at around five in the afternoon I began to wake up.

Then I got some good news, Danny won one of the cases he's been working on for the past year. We're going to go and celebrate this Friday, just Danny and I. Rebecca is going to stay at home and watch Joshie. I'm looking forward for it, I think both Danny and I deserve some quality time together, after the chaos that has been our lives for the past month or two.

Aidan called me not long ago saying he's been in the hospital to see Lucy and that apart from the looking all pale and terrible, she was at least thinking straight. This surprises me, because I knew Lucy all her life and she has never thought straight.

Em has talked to be today as well, I don't know what happened to my siblings but all I need is to talk to Micheal and I have the full set.

So, she'd love to come and visit me. I'd love to have her visit.

And life goes on in the Adams family, not exactly the way I want things, but there could always be worse than this.

My Soap Opera

So, Rebecca is here, she's funny as always. I wish I could be as funny as she is but I'm 99% of the time sleepwalking. She's huuuuuuge, I'm excied for her toward the coming of the baby, this arrangment is going to be a win win situation.

Josh has mono, there's not much I could do but worry and watch a four year old sleep all day long.

And there is such a thing as knowing too much about one's own family. I sometimes wish I was one of those selfish, small-minded daughters who can't wait to leave home and when they actually do leave home they never call.

So you think everything's fine, I mean they've been married for more than thirty years, and then a thing like this comes and slaps you in the face, points and... sniggers.

I want a boring family and a boring life. Thank Gods Danny's side of the family is wonderfully normal. When it comes to marraige I'm the luckiest woman alive, though other than that...

*Sigh*

Sigh

I have this odd grip on reality right now. The thing that's odd about this grip is that I'm not sure what part of me is doing the gripping and what part of reality I'm holding on to.

Yes, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. That is because I'm using weird metaphors which I shouldn't be using in my current condition.

I can write but I don't have the muse to do it. I think I need a little break from the writing boards - just a little one - so that I could clean my head of all the rubbish that's inside it.

Bye!

I'm sure some of you know what I’m talking about. Some sides of the family are very closed-minded and we've never been all that close, so of course they see my belief as a nuisance and they're really full of shite. I respect other religions, but not when it gets like this, not when some Christians in my family start acting like super-beings and while they live their lives to suffer they won't say no to enjoying a nice shot of tequila. I'm sorry if I'm offending people but I'm simply revolted at the behavior of people I am ashamed to call my kin

There was a fuss over the issue I have just discussed in my grandmother's wake and the things that for me and my closer family unit is most sacred of all it's my grandparents. For a scandal to break out in such a terrible time is worse than worse could possibly be. My dad, who is a very liberal man, grew as pale as a sheet when it happened - he was that embarrassed at his siblings.

I know my uncle had to deal with his grief in some way, but to make me a victim and act completely barbaric? I was so shocked at what he was saying I couldn't even think of an answer. I was simply stunned that he had the nerve to walk in to my FATHER's house and confront me in front of my family and my family's friends. I felt like someone stuck a dagger in my stomach when two of my aunts actually started yelling at me when I finally answered back. I felt like the whole world turned against me!

Later they apologised and I said that I forgave them, I think everyone was tensed and they had a bit too much to drink. I can't stop myself from being really upset and right now if I thought I was bad before...

A part of me actually wondered if they deserved to be forgiven at all. I reminded myself the quarrels should be avoidable, especially the ones inside the family. Though I wish ALL of me wanted to forgive them because then I'd feel like the better person. I answered some pretty nasty things.

Someday I might be in a situation that even that side of my family might be important, meanwhile I could at least keep the relationship icy.

And meanwhile I'm lying to myself and hoping that people would stop harassing me just because of my religion. Just because I'm a pagan it doesn't mean I want the whole world to be a pagan, it doesn't mean that anyone who isn't pagan has weaker blood or something like that. Can't those kinds of people see how stupid they're acting?

I really feel exhausted, as though I've ran miles. It's funny - or maybe not - but I'm the only one who spoke of grandma today in present-tense, I don't know why I did it